my greatest accomplishment to date

so now that i'm 25, i'm finally old enough to rent a car, right?

and with all the traveling i've been doing this year, i've actually had to RENT a few cars...and try to remember how to drive them. which is mildly nerve-wracking

but it turns out driving really is kind of a skill you don't lose. like gymnastics (yes, i can still do backflips).

after being in L.A. for only a week, i'm already a pro -- i can send text messages, check email, and use google maps on Tonya Nader (my blackberry...has a name) while on the road (if any police are reading this, please don't give me a ticket. also, i don't recommend using your mobile device while driving as it will probably cause me to have a wreck and die soon if not kill someone else. DON'T DO IT! DON'T! i'll stop too.)

but i have to say, there was one thing i really didn't think i'd remember how to do and it's had me waking up in cold sweats for weeks in anticipation. however, as it turns out...I CAN STILL PARALLEL PARK!!! that shit is hard, yo. especially in a rental. when you own a car, the dimensions of the car become extensions of yourself after awhile. you instictively know how far your car extends on all sides, and how much room you have. not with a rental, ladies & gentleman. not with a rental.

i was so impressed with myself, i took pictures so there could be no doubt as to whether or not this truly happened.





as long as we're on the topic of L.A., i'm so allergic to the air here. i've spent the whole week with swollen sinuses and a sore throat. this place is soooo dry & toxic! tell me whyee.

i'm staying with my best friend brent and his boyfriend vin. brent's mom is the modern equivalent of a witch doctor (midwestern housewife with internet access), and she is ultimately the reason i have medicated q-tips up my nose.



finally...why does this web page exist?

how cute is this?

my first kiss totally sucked

it like...wasn't even a kiss.

i was terrified.

it was like...yesterday.

i wish i were one of these kids, they're all so adorable

dear wikipedia

from jay brannan:

i do NOT want to be included on wikipedia. i don't want to learn your protocols for editing and deletion and discussion. i don't have the time or interest.

this article "jay brannan" started out as people talking shit about me. it was removed and blocked a few times, and then eventually became something of a mini bio filled with ALL wrong information, which i have tried to correct over the past year and it still constantly changes by people who think they know what they are talking about. i can't constantly come back to this page to verify accuracy and to have my identity and labels forced on me by others.

i don't care how people represent me on personal sites. but wikipedia is presented to the public as if it were a fact-based encyclopedia, when that is not at all the case. i don't want my personal and professional self being portrayed in ways that complete strangers have decided on in a forum that is viewed by the world as a fact-based encyclopedia.

as to my continually deleting the phrase "who is openly gay" (with REFERENCE?! who publicly -- and in a so-called "encylopedia" no less -- attempts to PROVE someone's sexuality?! how weird is that) -- i hate when my sexuality is sewn to my very name as if it were on my birth certificate, particularly when it is completely unrelated to the ensuing paragraph.

further, i don't want photos i own the copyrights to being displayed on this site.

please save me this headache by taking me off this site and keep it forever blocked.

i hate wikipedia

thanks

jay