1. appreciate your "fans", but be hesitant about trusting them. people will write you emails as if they worship you and want desperately to be your intimate companion. and the moment you do or say something human, or something they don't like…they will turn on you in an instant. sometimes in extreme ways.
2. expressing a feeling is a survival tactic, like letting steam out of a tea kettle. it's not necessarily solicitation for advice or lectures from anyone, particularly people you've NEVER EVEN MET. some people have more steam than others, and there's not always a reason. trust me - just like no one would CHOOSE to be gay - no one CHOOSES to be full of steam. although it's much easier to believe everything in life is a choice, i just don't believe it's that simple for everyone. intangibles like physical depression & alcoholism are real, and unchosen. just like cancer is real. or sexual orientation. or height. we all have our handicaps, and all anyone can do is their best.
3. people yell at you when you blog too much. they yell at you when you don't blog enough. they scream at you for not writing "happy, upbeat songs"….and when you do, they scream at you for "selling out".
4. people yell at you for not responding to an email. and if you do respond, they yell at you for not responding fast enough, or not writing enough sentences.
5. some people spend a few dollars on your music, and then act as if they purchased a part of your soul, and are now an equal parts shareholder in who you are and what you do.
6. you can't trust politics, government, religion, or even science. it used to be a known fact that the earth was flat. one day eggs are proven to cause cancer, and the next, they are proven to prevent it. pluto was a planet for decades and now…its not. no matter how certain someone seems, no one ever really knows what they're talking about.
7. experience is much more valuable than opinion. but even experience is specific and subjective.
8. we live in a world where someone can build a life & career explicitly around hating others & causing pain, and then that person can turn right around and become a spokesperson for a "No Hate" campaign. that really confuses me.
9. few human beings have a sense of humor, and when they do, it's often very basic & underdeveloped. people don't like questions, and they don't like layers.
10. some religious people won't stand up for black people, even though they have experienced some of the same oppression. some black people won't stand up for women, even though they have experienced some of the same oppression. some women won't stand up for gay people, even though they have experienced some of the same oppression. some gay people won't stand up for depressed people, even though they have experienced some of the same oppression. depressed people are awesome, and stand up for everyone. haha
40 comments:
beautifully expressed...thanks for sharing. i concur.
First time I've commented on your blog. All your points hit the nail on the head...damn good.
U Rok dude! You just Rok in every corner.
this is sadly very true in every possible way.
You are wise far beyond your years, this is why I 'like' you, though we haven't met yet.
hurray for this very philosophical essay.
If I listed the ten things I thought about at times, they'd probably commmit me. And that is why I appreciate your thoughts, songs, and personality that I see through them! Thanks Jay!
Sending hugs Jay. I dearly wish that this year is about healing and happiness for you.
often random thoughts are just that but you managed to enlighten and ignite the same feelings I have thought about but never echoed.
Count me in on following your future blogs
TJ
#10 is my favorite. You're an amazing person (what little bit we get to experience). There are ways that we all relate to you or ways that you have impacted us... do what you do for you, not for anyone else in this world.
Your fans are NOT your friends, and you owe them exactly nothing. I was flattered when you wrote back one sentence to me once. I also met you briefly, and I think I annoyed you slightly, but I have the sense and self possession to not take it personally. You were tired, and I was in your face. It was understandable.
Truth is, you are a great talent, and how I or any other stranger feels about you should not affect your life.
I say give your fans your music, not your person... save that for people who have earned your trust and friendship. People are deeply wounded and sad. You alone cannot save them. Continue to grow yourself.
i think you're absolutely wonderful Jay. i gave up on people a long time ago, and i'm much happier for it. you find a couple good ones in your life and you stick by them.
you are a good one... the simple act of chatting with me for a few minutes after your show in Montreal in October made it for me. you didn't have to talk to me, but you did, and you were awesome. Happy New Year and all the best. don't change for anyone.
WHAT IF ANY OF THE TEN DO I FALL UNDER?
dear jay,
i just want you to know that this was great and perfect and greatly appreciated. to be honest, i'm not really a fan of your music- i'm a fan of you. i think your voice and your thoughts are rare b/c they are honest and explicit and i can relate to a lot of the things you express. i'm too shy to disclose who i am, but i just want to thank you for being you and existing in this world. you're a rare piece of beauty. i hardly experience true beauty anymore.
luv,
a girl who wishes you were her best friend/a girl who wishes she was a boy so we could fall in love.
maybe you should try meditation
I love you the way you are.
beautiful stated and lovely
sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you...this whole thing has me thinking of Mama Cass. take care JB
Fans cannot be trusted bc they have you on an unrealistic pedestal. Follow me on this one...Everyone needs a steam boat every now and then to just get away from things while it's different it does have good things about it. If you wrote too much/too often I probably wouldn't read. Instead you write whenever you feel like it and I check your blog everyday with anticipation. I feel like it makes you more interesting rather than divulging everything all the time, you're realistic and quite possibly have a life outside of your room. People are you best friends and worst enemies. Even if someone were to buy you an apartment on the upper east side, you'd owe them nothing for what is a friend if they expect something in return? As far as we've come in the world we are just as basic as we were years ago we just have different things.
you nailed #7. Nothing is set in stone and everyone has the potential to be versatile. Questions make people think you doubt them when in fact each question can reveal another layer. If you are a "mean girl" you have only one layer and that's just boring. The oppressed are far worse than the depressed bc the depressed are realistic in their thinking. Good post for sure.
yo,,, life lovin light your way!!!
You know, Jay, white text on a black background is proven to be the only type of text on a computer that harms your eyesight...
Coincidentally, mine is the same color.
Well Dayum Jay. If you are going to write #8, name NAMES!
Your posts always make me smile....even when they are not intended to. You are such a cynical bitch. Whats not to smile about that? I have always ADORED cynicism...and bitches! 2010 has a nice "ring" to it. Of course so did 2000 and it didn't make me any wealthier or skinnier so what good was it?
Good God man i'm just a country doctor not a clinical psychologist. Just get the dam elliptical machine fixed, clearly it has your head spinning in circles and not the ellipses that are suppose to be going on....Love you Jay:-)
P.S. the tenth word from your ten list is
people steam they email and it experience a when even
or
People, even email when they experience it and a steam
Just sayin
Happy New Year !!!
2010 New Year's Fireworks show
http://fireworks2010.blogspot.com/
how much time did you spent on the elliptical machine? jk ... cool
oh wow! It's all making sense! I can totally relate to them..
I've read great comments, I was wondering, should I write, should I say more?
I'm a women, I'm also lesbian and thanks God for that gift, I'm depressed, I'm writing stories.
I'm not that known all over the planet, but around me, there is some kind of similar situation.
In your fans, there is poeple who don't expect anything, who just like -or love, your music, your posts, who just take what you've to give them.
And there is the other, who want to share your succes, to be part of the game, who are expecting something, whatever it is, and you have to cope with them.
It is false to say that you can't only stop thinking of them, but... try to think more about poeple who are in your "real" life, try to think about the other fans, those who don't care about the number of words you use to answer back a mail, or even if you answer back.
You did for me, with a little time late, but you answered good.
Sometimes I feel touched by your songs, sometimes less... but just care about your own feelings, the poeple who need your song will love it, and for the rest...
It's not part you can control, so that... accept it, with all the anger you can have towards people, remember life's not that easy ^^
i have to say as usual your spot on, ppl are multidemionsional, what i think ppl do is they put there idol om these high pedestals make them god like, they do say the high you stand the harder you fall. but can be so cruel, judgemental, hurtful but can be so loving and giving, so generous. expression is a right of every person, its a pity not everyone is free to express them selves. thats whats really sad. trapped in a world of sadness, hurt and lonliness.
10. is awesome.
I love this post, your thoughts, and I enjoy your music. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in the coming year.
Sad as it is, the same is true for friends as it is for fans: self-entitlement to your energy, rejection when you're not what they want, etc. I imagine that guarding one's soul is imperative in both endeavors.
I love the elliptical cause I pretend I'm in Chariots of Fire. The machine even makes the whooshing sounds for me.
Thanks Jay, love your music, and your words of wisdom. I wish you the best of luck in your career. :-) XXX
Thank you, for #2.
I live with a man who, if i moan about something - anything, i get the:
"Well, you just have to..." or
"You need to stay positive..." or
"Why don't you..."
When all I want to hear is:
"What a bitch."
You're pretty incredible, Jan Brannan. I heard you sing on youtube.com and then, I began to sing on youtube.com
I listen to you talk about using JUST the computer and a guitar to record your songs and...I am using JUST the computer and my voice.
Everything you say about every thing is so right. I have'nt bought your CD yet, but, I promise that I won't feel like I own a part of you. You're awesome.
those 10 thing seems to come from a clear vew of the humanity. about the firts one, don't ever in your life stop saying something because some one could turn on you. it's better to be honest and have arround you people who really cares about you for who you trully are. about the second one, let all your steam go out and far, you have beautiful feelings that many people love percive.
I didn't know what to add. Nothing, I guess, other than 'thanks'.
I enjoy reading your posts. They are lovely, make me smile and share feeling with me. Dont ever attempt to leave blog for good. You will want to come write one day again anyway. Becuz you are such a writer. :)
I agree that experience is better than reading review. If you want to know feeling while exercising on elliptical machine, you should try it at the shop.
Post a Comment