omfg

i

just

stepped

on

a

roach

with

my

bare

foot

and

i

can't

stop

hyperventilating

i

hate

my

life

ew

i

can

still

feel

it

wriggling

under

my

toes

please

let

me

die

"do not disturb" : open to interpretation?

when i travel and have the chance to sleep late or stay in and rest or work, i generally like to do so.

i always keep my door chained and bolted or whatever the option may be so that housekeeping doesn't come barging in on me during my moments of solitude.

to enforce my wish for privacy, i ALWAYS hang the "do not disturb" sign on my door handle.

in fact, i almost always leave it on the door handle when the room is vacant, simply because i do not want my possessions rearranged or exposed to theft or damage by strangers, etc.

"do not disturb"

seems to me to be a pretty straightforward phrase.

why is it then that the front desk or housekeeping always calls me on the telephone (probably at the point they want to go home) to ask if i want housekeeping service?

i can't help but classify a telephone call from the very people i posted the virtual "KEEP OUT" sign for as a "disturbance."

i'm pretty sure they know what the sign means and who the message is addressed to. they did in fact spend the money to have the sign printed and left a copy of it in my room for my convenient use.

so where's the confusion happening?

what i'm trying to say is: leave me the fuck alone.

theenks!

jay

my first collaboration

"relax your necks" by jay brannan & margaret cho

"croissant" by chris o'gorman

if this is what a croissant tastes like, i'll take two.

shut it, mary warren!

ok

so...some of you may know that i am currently on tour (the "fat is a feeling, not a shape" tour)

and i'm flying to atlanta tomorrow to do a show there tomorrow night (a place called Vinyl - be there)

well...i had "silver medallion" status on Delta Air Lines but have come to despise that company so much that i only fly them when absolutely necessary...and i have taken all my business to Continetal (whenever possible).

well (again), i FINALLY just made elite status on Continental Air Lines, and i just got upgraded to first class for my flight tomorrow!!!!!

i know i sound like total Texas white trash (i am) who's never been on a plane or whatever, but this will be my first time ever flying first class!!!!

i've finally arrived. i'm like...rose dewitt bukater.

watch me die on the AirTrain on the way to the airport or something.

lol. why was this paragraph in my wikipedia article?

"An outspoken advocate for victims of CFS ("Chronic Fatigue Syndrome"), he has received numerous awards from various charities for his tireless work on behalf of victims of the disease. In a tragic irony, he was recently diagnosed with CFS himself. Speaking candidly in an interview with Maury Pouvich about his diagnosis, he inspired fans and other victims with his positive attitude and his wise words, "I may be tired but I'll never tire in the fight against CFS."

that's how ludicrous this wikipedia site is. i only found out about this because someone asked about my support of the CFS cause in an interview. haha

i actually love this paragraph. i wish it were true.

ok, hi

why is swiffer wet the most amazing smell on earth?

someone is totally using it on my floor right now, i can smell it a mile away